Tips for Transitioning to Two (or More) Kids: Seven simple ways to make it easier on everyone

This article was first published elsewhere in August 2023.

In case you hadn’t noticed, becoming a parent is a big deal. An assumption people often make when a second or subsequent baby (or babies, if you’re expecting multiples) comes along is that because you’ve done it before, you’ve got it covered and don’t need so much help. In some ways they’re right, but in many they’re very, very wrong.

Yes, you’ve parented a baby before, but you’ve never parented THIS baby.

If you’re the gestationa…

Read more…

Hey Partners! Here's How to Get Us Hot Under The Collar

You know those calendars where sexy men are doing housework? I can do one better, and it’s not just men doing the housework in real life.

Sure, people with and without appendages can cook and clean, and in most cisgender opposite-sex couple households, it’d be long overdue for men to do more of these things.

Yet to me these are the minimum of adulting, not what’s going to get me hot under the collar.

So what does?

When I hear my giggling child say “s…

Read more…

Parents, when you don't know what to say, try this.

what do i say
Sometimes parents ask me “What do I say when my child does xyz?” They don’t want to yell but don’t know what to say instead and get stuck in old patterns.
To those people I say “How can you know what to say before you’ve listened?”
Every behaviour is an attempt at communication and connection, however misguided or seemingly irrational.
Turn your feet and body towards them. Soften your stomach. Uncross your arms. Crouch down to their eye level, maybe sit on the floor with t…

Read more…

To the Parents Playing the Long Game

long game
✨To the parents playing the long game✨
Gentle parenting, responsive parenting, conscious parenting… whatever you want to call it, it’s not easy.
There are a million times you will want to send them to their rooms, introduce some kind of rigid sleep or feeding schedule, tell them to get over it.
There will be a million times you’ll get side-eye in the supermarket while they’re crying, wind up crying yourself, wonder if your relationship will survive this.

Read more…

Motherhood and child-raising are framed as sites of competition.

I've given up
Motherhood and child-raising are framed as sites of competition.
From the very start, you’ll be told you don’t want your child to be at the smaller end of the growth chart.
You want them to be ahead of their milestones.
You want them to be “keeping up” at school.
And if they're not, well, it’s on you.
What did you do wrong?
Did you give them too much support, or not enough?
How did you let this happen on your watch?
Mothers and primary pa…

Read more…

My Kids Are Not The Problem. Your Expectations Are.

Kids are not good sleepers, by adult standards.

Kids eat frequently, by adult standards.

Kids are emotionally volatile, by adult standards.

Kids are clingy, by adult standards.

Kids are hyperactive, by adult standards.

Kids are loud, by adult standards.

Kids are messy, by adult standards.

Kids ask too many questions, by adult standards.

✅Yes! Kids are a lot, but that’s not actually a problem.


Read more…

Mothers As A Foghorn For The Family's Needs: Why It's Not As Simple As Telling Fathers To "Step Up"

“My doctor was lovely but they didn’t get it. They suggested therapy and yes, it might help, but I already know what I need to do to look after myself. I need to read a book in the sunshine, with more than five minutes between interruptions. I need to go for a run, regularly. I need to sleep for ten years. And above all, I need my husband to deal with his own sh*t so he can actually parent instead of me doing everything for everyone and him being a passenger in this family.” I r…

Read more…

The Wiggle House: Representation Can’t Be The End Of This Story

emma watkins and tsehay hawkins

Did anyone else’s Little Wiggle get a bit knocked around the by the skivvy handover announcement? 

As mum to a two year old daughter, it’s been wonderful having Emma’s voice in our speaker and presence on stage as a female band member.  

Clearly, representation matters. 

As Tsehay Hawkins steps from the support crew to the main lineup, more children will see themselves reflected in the kids’ entertainment juggernaut that is the Wiggles. 

While it’s sad to see Emma go, Tsehay is a brilliant p…

Read more…