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When “hard but worth it” just doesn’t cut it: Rewriting the script on motherhood and parent life

This article was first published elsewhere in August 2023.


What do you say when someone asks what it’s like having kids? I say “kids” purposefully because this is how the question is often raised with me, partly because I now have two children which makes “kids” the plural relevant, and partly because one child families are still treated as an unfortunate aberration rather than a valid family structure.

I’ve found those asking the question aren’t much interested in my analysis of sociolingui…

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Flu season, carers' leave and the career stumbling block we don't speak about

This article was first published elsewhere in June 2023.


 

No matter how big or small, every business owner sometimes gets the urge to throw it all into the bin and get a “normal” job. While this happens only occasionally for me, I recently had the unsettling revelation that this option isn’t available to me right now. Not because of some virtuous reason of “serving families” or “doing my life’s work” but, depressingly, because my kids and I are sick too often for me to hold down a…

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From bliss to psychosis and the long road back to mental health - An interview with Emmeline Tyler

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We now know it's important to be on the lookout for signs of postnatal depression, anxiety and even psychosis in the early days, but what happens if a mother experiences a mental health crisis further down the track?

In this episode of the Anna Asks podcast, Emmeline Tyler (she/her) shares openly about her birth and blissful postpartum, and how these assisted in helping her be well. She explains how personal and societal factors influenced the unravelling of her mental health during the toddler…

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"Such a good age": Why eight months postpartum can feel like anything but

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EIGHT MONTHS POSTPARTUM.

A time also known as: Oooft, Dear Lordy, WTF, Why? What is sleep? and alternatively, Send help.

By far, no question, without a doubt, 8 months postpartum was the hardest time for me. This is the primary reason why my single session/SOS doula day service extends beyond the newborn period to when baby turns two years old!

I’m not the only one, and I can see why so many hit rock bottom at that age. Here’s what’s going on for many mothers and birth parents in Australia at…

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Why do I talk birth when I'm a postpartum doula?

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Why do I spend so much time banging on about birth info when I’m actually a postpartum doula? Because, quite simply, we can’t pretend birth doesn’t influence postpartum.
The impact, as any mother or person whose experienced a traumatic or amazing birth will tell you, is massive. As such, preparing for birth is, in a way, preparing for postpartum, but we can’t end our efforts at birth affirmations.
My tips are:
1️⃣Get independent birth AND lactation education. You can’t re…

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The Default or The Doula? Why We Need To Talk About Birth Partners Now More Than Ever.

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Imagine waddling up to the desk at the maternity ward, labour in full swing. The masked midwife offers you a choice of Room One or Two. They are identical rooms, staffed by the same care team, and you are allowed one support person regardless of which room you choose.

Choose Room Two, she tells you, and your labour will be on average 41 minutes shorter than in Room One. You’ll be 31% less likely to need drugs to speed up your labour and 28% less likely to deliver via caesarean. You’ll also be…

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Again? Birthing Parents Ignored Again While Hillsong Parties Down The Road

I went on my first school camp at Glenrock Scout Camp, aged around 9 or 10 years old. That place has been in the news lately, but it wasn’t a big deal then.
What I remember as a view from a bunk bed, a movie night and a cold lagoon has been used in the last few days for Hillsong’s “Wildlife” event and summer camp. Footage from the event (released by Hillsong Youth in their own social media, not leaked), shows hundreds of people singing and dancing to performers inside a massive tent, …

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Start Early: Why Waiting To Be The "Fun One" Falls Flat

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If you’re tempted to leave the baby duties to your partner and come back for the “fun part” when they’re old enough to play, I have news for you! Unfortunately... it just doesn’t work that way.

Yes, baby care is hard, because all the skills are new and baby communication is a new language.

Think of it this way. You wouldn’t head off to a new country without doing any language training and expect to cruise through. You’d likely do some reading up, and spend a few weeks on a language app so you co…

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Hey Partners! Here's How to Get Us Hot Under The Collar

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You know those calendars where sexy men are doing housework? I can do one better, and it’s not just men doing the housework in real life.

Sure, people with and without appendages can cook and clean, and in most cisgender opposite-sex couple households, it’d be long overdue for men to do more of these things.

Yet to me these are the minimum of adulting, not what’s going to get me hot under the collar.

So what does?

When I hear my giggling child say “s…

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Is It Time For A Royal Commission Into Birth?

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Today Western Sydney University Professor of Midwifery Hannah Dahlen posed two questions of her social media audience in response to 2021 update of the “Australia’s Mothers and Babies” report, released by the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare last week.

The first question, “what the hell are we doing?”, comes on the back of the following 2019 statistics from the publication last week.

As of 2019, Australia’s caesarean birth rate is now 36% (and 37% for first time mothers and birth par…

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