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"Such a good age": Why eight months postpartum can feel like anything but

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EIGHT MONTHS POSTPARTUM.

A time also known as: Oooft, Dear Lordy, WTF, Why? What is sleep? and alternatively, Send help.

By far, no question, without a doubt, 8 months postpartum was the hardest time for me. This is the primary reason why my single session/SOS doula day service extends beyond the newborn period to when baby turns two years old!

I’m not the only one, and I can see why so many hit rock bottom at that age. Here’s what’s going on for many mothers and birth parents in Australia at…

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The Cover Up: When motherhood is not as it seems

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There’s something wrong with this picture.


In the blink of an eye between being a student and a mother, those fleeting moments “disposable income” was a thing, I subscribed to this magazine.


I would receive and read each month, then take to share with colleagues in my workplace lunch room.


Sometimes we’d look at the images and dream of living as the women pictured did - the ones who ran their hands through the tips of grasses and smiling while inspecting fleece - then glance at the cloc…

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Risky or Rubbish? The real stats on going "overdue"

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I was 41 weeks pregnant, and both myself and my baby were healthy. When I went to my antenatal appointment, the doctor at the hospital told me that if I didn't get an induction soon, my placenta would fail and my baby would die.

This story is common amongst women and birth parents whose pregnancy progresses beyond 40 (or in some cases even 39) weeks.

Interestingly, these words often come parallel to us being told that if we don't deliver the baby soon, it will grow too big, so perhaps our plac…

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Beyond Amazing: The Excruciatingly Slow Steps of a Mother's Labour of Love

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The journey of a thousand miles may start with a single step, but when you are a mother of small children each of those steps can feel excruciatingly slow. Whether the journey you take is studying, starting a business, building a career, commencing therapy, renovating, or a community project, the process may feel interminable, eternal, never ending.
You finally sign up for the thing, dedicating an hour a day to the cause, and your toddler drops their nap. The routine of da…

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The doctor and my daughter: A lesson in body safety

“There are two ways we can go about this,” says the doctor. He stands opposite me, kind eyes behind large glasses, tongue depressor and torch in hand.
My daughter buries her face into my chest, hiding as she does from all unknown men. She is crying hysterically. The doctor continues.
“You can hold her down so I can look in her mouth and throat, or we can skip this part of the examination.”
I sway her in the same soothing way I’ve always done.
“Will it he…

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Why do I talk birth when I'm a postpartum doula?

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Why do I spend so much time banging on about birth info when I’m actually a postpartum doula? Because, quite simply, we can’t pretend birth doesn’t influence postpartum.
The impact, as any mother or person whose experienced a traumatic or amazing birth will tell you, is massive. As such, preparing for birth is, in a way, preparing for postpartum, but we can’t end our efforts at birth affirmations.
My tips are:
1️⃣Get independent birth AND lactation education. You can’t re…

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Why I won't ask to hold your baby

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A postpartum doula will not ask to hold your baby.
We recognise the sanctity of the bond you and your baby have, the interdependence of your biological, hormonal and emotional needs through the early days and entire fourth trimester with your baby earthside.
And so, we will not visit intending to hold your baby, but to hold you in whatever way you need.
That may be through nurturing touch massage, talking you through a guided meditation while you feed or doing your dis…

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3 Years In: What Would I Change?

As my child hurtles towards her third birthday and the end of infancy, I have been reflecting on my parenting and its evolution so far.
What am I satisfied with? A fair bit.
What would I do differently if I had my time over? Some things, for sure.
One thing I would absolutely not change however is supporting my child’s sleep through nurture, night and day. We have been close, responsive and watching her rather than a clock, through the non-linear process that is biologic…

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Where is this leading? What it looks like when systemic birth interventions go unchecked

Sometimes when I speak with women and parents about birth interventions and systemic trauma, they wonder aloud “where does this end?”
The answer is this: left unchecked, it doesn’t.
In Brazil 82% of private hospital births are Caesareans. The total rate across the country is 55.8%. The episiotomy rate for vaginal birth is 94.2%.
Why?
The article “Why Most Brazilian Women Get C-Sections” in The Atlantic explains in detail, but in short:
-It’s a way to “optimise”…

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The Default or The Doula? Why We Need To Talk About Birth Partners Now More Than Ever.

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Imagine waddling up to the desk at the maternity ward, labour in full swing. The masked midwife offers you a choice of Room One or Two. They are identical rooms, staffed by the same care team, and you are allowed one support person regardless of which room you choose.

Choose Room Two, she tells you, and your labour will be on average 41 minutes shorter than in Room One. You’ll be 31% less likely to need drugs to speed up your labour and 28% less likely to deliver via caesarean. You’ll also be…

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