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Parenting
3 Years In: What Would I Change?
As my child hurtles towards her third birthday and the end of infancy, I have been reflecting on my parenting and its evolution so far.
What am I satisfied with? A fair bit.
What would I do differently if I had my time over? Some things, for sure.
One thing I would absolutely not change however is supporting my child’s sleep through nurture, night and day. We have been close, responsive and watching her rather than a clock, through the non-linear process that is biologic…
Start Early: Why Waiting To Be The "Fun One" Falls Flat
If you’re tempted to leave the baby duties to your partner and come back for the “fun part” when they’re old enough to play, I have news for you! Unfortunately... it just doesn’t work that way.
Yes, baby care is hard, because all the skills are new and baby communication is a new language.
Think of it this way. You wouldn’t head off to a new country without doing any language training and expect to cruise through. You’d likely do some reading up, and spend a few weeks on a language app so you co…
Mothers And Birth Parents Are Not Doormats. It's Time We Stopped Trampling Them.
“I’ll schedule your induction for Wednesday”
“I’ll check your cervix now”
“This will make the placenta come faster”
“They’re latching fine, you’ll get used to it”
“It’s policy to place them back in the crib”
“Just let them cry, they’ll soothe themselves”
“Tongue ties aren’t real”
“Start topping up with formula after each feed”
“It’s normal to feel low/anxious/exhausted”
“You should be grateful you had any leave at all”
“Mayb…
The Village Starts When You Decide It Does. Here's How.
There is a wonderful story in Julia Jones’ book “Newborn Mothers” from an English midwife named Theresa.
When she first came to Australia, she’d insist mothers make a meal roster, so friends would drop meals over once the baby was born. Most would answer “Ah, but he [my partner] can cook”.
Theresa would reply:
“I know he can cook, and he can wash, and he can clean, but it’s gonna take two of you until 2pm just to sort out this 8 pounds of baby. And if there are othe…
Hey Partners! Here's How to Get Us Hot Under The Collar
You know those calendars where sexy men are doing housework? I can do one better, and it’s not just men doing the housework in real life.
Sure, people with and without appendages can cook and clean, and in most cisgender opposite-sex couple households, it’d be long overdue for men to do more of these things.
Yet to me these are the minimum of adulting, not what’s going to get me hot under the collar.
So what does?
When I hear my giggling child say “s…
Using a travel cot? Check your little sleeper is safe this holiday season
Planning on using a portable cot this holiday season? Here are some things you should know:
The most recent Australian/New Zealand standards (AS/NZS 2195:2010) for portable cots were set in 2010. Worryingly, these are OPTIONAL for manufacturers.
The mandatory standards (AS/NZS 2195:1999) were set in 1999, and do not specify the use of breathable fabric at all relevant zones around the sleep surface.
This means cots that are retailed as “meeting Australian standards” can still be a suffocation…
If you're buying me a Christmas present...
“What’s on your bedside table?” the interviewer asked me.
I wracked my brains and eventually remembered.
On my table was a book by an author I loved. Despite my good intentions, it had sat unmoved, dust-covered and guilt-inducing for many months.
“Read me,” it had whispered every night. Eventually, when many nights had passed lying beside but not touching, it had fallen silent like a jilted lover and become part of the furniture.
I am in the season of motherhood whe…
I tried so hard to get my child to take a comforter
I tried so hard to get my child to take a comforter. It was a square piece of fleece blue fabric with white stars and a satin yellow underside, with a toy head sewn to the centre that may have been a giraffe or perhaps a spotted horse or maybe even a cow depending on who was looking at it.
I wore it inside my shirt, held it between us as we breastfed, all the things you’re told to do to make a “lovey” loved by association.
I took it on holidays and lamented that I was the one des…
Parents, when you don't know what to say, try this.
Sometimes parents ask me “What do I say when my child does xyz?” They don’t want to yell but don’t know what to say instead and get stuck in old patterns.
To those people I say “How can you know what to say before you’ve listened?”
Every behaviour is an attempt at communication and connection, however misguided or seemingly irrational.
Turn your feet and body towards them. Soften your stomach. Uncross your arms. Crouch down to their eye level, maybe sit on the floor with t…
I 100 per cent get how tired you are right now
“Oh, the sleep deprivation. I 100 per cent get how tired you are right now.”
So says the bearded tradie I’ve never met before, who is currently in my kitchen attempting to fix our under-sink plumbing.
It’s just after 8am and I am on the couch nearby in my pyjamas, bleary-eyed, feeding my squirming toddler.
We’ve been up together since 4am, except for the not-sure-if-it-was-worth-it nap I wrangled between 7.15am when hubby got up to get ready for work and 8am when…
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