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Motherhood

Mothers And Birth Parents Are Not Doormats. It's Time We Stopped Trampling Them.

not your passenger
“I’ll schedule your induction for Wednesday”

“I’ll check your cervix now”

“This will make the placenta come faster”

“They’re latching fine, you’ll get used to it”

“It’s policy to place them back in the crib”

“Just let them cry, they’ll soothe themselves”

“Tongue ties aren’t real”

“Start topping up with formula after each feed”

“It’s normal to feel low/anxious/exhausted”

“You should be grateful you had any leave at all”

“Mayb…

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Losing The Plot? Unfortunately, It's On Us.

interrupted
In the process of eating this bowl of pasta, I was interrupted to read to a toddler on the potty and wipe them.
I took the potty outside to rinse it and shut the barking dog up, because even though there was a full bucket of water right next to it, they wanted to drink from the empty one.

On my way past the laundry I put the wet washing into the basket and carried it to the back step. 
Feeling very organised I re-entered am eerily quiet lounge room to find green crayon be…

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Running Yourself Ragged? Why We Matyr Ourselves Even When We'd Rather Not

matyr

What would you say if I told you that mothers benefit from matyring themselves?

I know it sounds cracked.

Mothers, birth parents and parents socialised as women are absolutely conditioned to give, give, give until there is nothing left - to martyr themselves “for the good of others”.

This isn’t about the excessive load mothers (especially single or solo mothers) must carry in order for their family to be ok, I’m opening a discussion about the reasons behind us “going above and beyond”.

Humans (at le…

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Pandemic Motherhood Getting You Down? It's Not Just You.

Dad worked such long hours
“Dad worked such long hours... how did you do it alone for so long?”

Mum tilted her head and thought a while.

“We had an excursion each day. We did the groceries or met someone at a park, went to playgroup and swimming. And we had excellent neighbours.”

I thought of the weeks and months we’ve spent staying home. The parks we visit early before the crowds. Play dates postponed for the slightest of sniffles. The groceries done by click and collect because babies don’t wear m…

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If you're buying me a Christmas present...

beside table
“What’s on your bedside table?” the interviewer asked me.
I wracked my brains and eventually remembered.
On my table was a book by an author I loved. Despite my good intentions, it had sat unmoved, dust-covered and guilt-inducing for many months.
“Read me,” it had whispered every night. Eventually, when many nights had passed lying beside but not touching, it had fallen silent like a jilted lover and become part of the furniture.
I am in the season of motherhood whe…

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I tried so hard to get my child to take a comforter

comforter
I tried so hard to get my child to take a comforter. It was a square piece of fleece blue fabric with white stars and a satin yellow underside, with a toy head sewn to the centre that may have been a giraffe or perhaps a spotted horse or maybe even a cow depending on who was looking at it.
I wore it inside my shirt, held it between us as we breastfed, all the things you’re told to do to make a “lovey” loved by association.
I took it on holidays and lamented that I was the one des…

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Parents, when you don't know what to say, try this.

what do i say
Sometimes parents ask me “What do I say when my child does xyz?” They don’t want to yell but don’t know what to say instead and get stuck in old patterns.
To those people I say “How can you know what to say before you’ve listened?”
Every behaviour is an attempt at communication and connection, however misguided or seemingly irrational.
Turn your feet and body towards them. Soften your stomach. Uncross your arms. Crouch down to their eye level, maybe sit on the floor with t…

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I 100 per cent get how tired you are right now

sleep deprivation
“Oh, the sleep deprivation. I 100 per cent get how tired you are right now.”
So says the bearded tradie I’ve never met before, who is currently in my kitchen attempting to fix our under-sink plumbing.
It’s just after 8am and I am on the couch nearby in my pyjamas, bleary-eyed, feeding my squirming toddler.
We’ve been up together since 4am, except for the not-sure-if-it-was-worth-it nap I wrangled between 7.15am when hubby got up to get ready for work and 8am when…

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Seven Minute Bluey Parenting Challenge

bluey

Every episode of Bluey is seven minutes.

When you think cartoon dogs are doing better at parenting than you, remember you are only seeing them parenting for seven minutes across a day.

Sometimes being “fun” is the last thing we want to do, but we can totally do seven minutes.

Set a timer to be totally child-led and phone-free for seven minutes.

Maybe 14 if 7 was too easy, or 21 if you’re feeling brave.

When you know there’s an end point, it’s easier than you’d think.

Give it a go - Chilli and Bandit g…

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No, I Do Not Support Your Parenting Choices

parenting choices
Some people will say they will support you in your parenting choices, whatever those choices are. I am not one of them.
If an adult hits or threatens to hit another adult, that’s abuse. If a parent hits or threatens to hit a child, that’s abuse.
If you know that smacked children are more likely to become adults who misuse alcohol, experience depression and engage in anti-social and aggressive behaviours, and still choose to use violence or threats of it against your children, I c…

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