Queering Messy Motherhood

This month’s topic on the Anna Asks podcast is “Queering Motherhood” and my guest is Melbourne-based doula Rafferty Hallows (they/them).

We recorded this episode with an unsettled four month old (me) and from a car due to nearby construction noise (Raff).

Both of us feel it’s important to share the messiness of motherhood, so the editing is a bit rougher on this one. There are places where I just couldn’t find a segue thanks to baby brain, and other parts where the baby was screaming and my hand gestures indicated Raff just had to keep rolling on. Don’t worry, I’ve muted my audio for those bits so your eardrums are safe!

Here is the episode description:

Is there a more queer job than being a doula? Full spectrum Mother carer Rafferty Hallows thinks not. If you are ready to reimagine your life and relationships, resource yourself on the darkest days, embrace your neurospicy self + family or redefine your own postpartum experience years after birth, you'll want to listen to what they have to say. Big language warning on this one, and please be aware we touch on issues including infant loss and mental ill health including perinatal psychosis.

You don’t need to be queer to take lessons from Raff’s “queering motherhood” mission. You can listen to this episode of Anna Asks here.

On a personal note, I’ve just managed my first week with two kids without my my partner around, who was working away. I planned thoroughly, filled my freezer with lunches for the week and called in the cavalry (essentially how I would prepare for postpartum, which with a six month old, I still very much am). I was a bit nervous before it, but I’m chalking this one up as a success!

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