How to not have a baby shower (and feel even more loved)

Isolation era means no face-to-face baby showers for now. Some mums will need to grieve that loss of rite of passage, and others will be thankful to skip the expected yet unwanted hoo-haa. From where I sit, this is another opportunity to rethink how we celebrate newborn motherhood and surround families with love.

The options of what to do instead of a shower with cupcakes and bunting are endless. One is to skip the whole thing and make a gift registry on some big store like Baby Bunting. This isn't my preferred option, as babies don't really need stuff and mum doesn't get too many warm fuzzies this way. Change tables are great but beds, floors and tables do the trick. Bathroom and laundry sinks are great as baby baths. Pre-loved clothes are perfect when they chuck on three mismatched outfits per day. 

Online gatherings of the important women in your life can be truly beautiful occasions. You can select a master of ceremonies to lead a short mindfulness or meditation exercise on the amazing feat of giving new life is a nice place to start. Women may then offer any encouragement or wisdom to the mama to be, either as it feels right to them or from oldest to youngest in the group. You may like to finish by each lighting a candle that can be lit again to celebrate baby's arrival, or writing a note of support to mama which can be posted and read when she is feeling in need of a pick-me-up. Many of these elements can be done remotely without an online presence - a run sheet that women follow at a given time can give a special energy without screens too.

Another way to honour mum is to help her learn the unfamiliar skill of asking for and receiving help. A meal train is perfect for nurturing mums and freeing up partners from kitchen duties so they can look after baby and let mum sleep or soak in a bath. Ensure the family has a good esky for contactless delivery and head to a meal train online organiser. As a side note, an esky is a perfect present that Dad's mates can give him in honour of becoming a father - it will see you through postpartum food drop-off, picnics, BBQs, trips to the beach, camping trips and family activities for years to come.

Mealtrain.com is a popular one which allows you to invite selected friends through email and social media, and has a $10 "plus" package that allows you to ask the non-chefs in your life for other types of help like collecting groceries, running errands or even walking your dog. The "donation fund" feature might allow you even greater stress reduction and energy conservation - the true value of investing in a cleaner can't be underestimated, and you won't end up with a whole lot of things you don't want cluttering up your house. (I have no affiliation to this site, I just think it's super useful).

These are just starting points so get creative. What would connect you to the many generations of mothers and grandmothers and great, great, great, great grandmothers who have come before you? What would bring you peace and joy as a newborn mother? The sky is the limit, don't let yourself be burdened by constraints of your Pinterest board or what you have seen done elsewhere. The power is yours, mama-to-be!