The Village Starts When You Decide It Does. Here's How.

There is a wonderful story in Julia Jones’ book “Newborn Mothers” from an English midwife named Theresa.

When she first came to Australia, she’d insist mothers make a meal roster, so friends would drop meals over once the baby was born. Most would answer “Ah, but he [my partner] can cook”.

Theresa would reply:

“I know he can cook, and he can wash, and he can clean, but it’s gonna take two of you until 2pm just to sort out this 8 pounds of baby. And if there are other kids involved, his role is more to be with them, while you sleep and feed the baby”.

In short, the village starts when you decide it does.

It does not magically show up in 2022.

Postpartum plans are what we need to be discussing during pregnancy, much more than the perfect pram or which pattern baby wraps.

This is a service I and many other postbirth doulas provide. We have networks, strategies, support services and suggestions to help you maximise the help and helpers you have available.

We will teach you how to cut through that voice in your head that says “oh I can’t ask for that” and get exactly the support you need.

This is not luxury. If you can’t ask for and receive help when you’ve just grown a person and are bleeding for weeks, learning to feed and sleeping in broken patches, when will you ever break the habit? My guess is when you are feeling broken and have no choice.

Reach out (to me, another doula or even a friend) to get the ball rolling.

YOU start the village.

Jan 12, 2022 05:18pm

By Anna Cusack

Under village & Parenting

2 min read

The Village Starts When You Decide It Does. Here's How.

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